“Without making mistakes, there won't be lessons learned. Without getting hurt, there won't be knowledge gained. The only way we grow is by learning from the past. Always be willing to learn and grow daily. It's how we come to know who we are and what we are made of.” - Kemi Sogunle
What a difficult topic to dive into.
Dear younger self,
I know that on the outside looking in, life has always seemed so easy and simple for you. For starters, you grew up with a father. To the naked eye, your life is already 10 x better than the average young black female and male in America. Additionally, you've grown up with money. Not a lot, but always enough. You've never went without something you needed and more often than not, you've always gotten everything on your Christmas list. You have the perfect life right? No.
What people don't see are the insecurities you feel, how hard you have to work to make sure you are just as good as your white counterparts at your mostly white high school, and all of the anger and hate you feel in that precious heart. You are beautiful, you are enough, you are important. You are smart. you will accomplish your dreams, you are kind. You are loved.
You don't have to equate your successes in life to love. You should achieve your goals for your own self satisfaction. Don't be great just to make friends or feel seen. I see you. Be great because you don't know how to be anything less. Be great because YOU want to be great.
Friends come and go, it's life. You will outgrow people, and people will outgrow you. Don't beat yourself up over distanced relationships. Sometimes people are only in your life for a season. But remember, God does everything for a reason. Keep your faith in Him and entrust your desires to Him. Remember the saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans".
Turn your pain into passion. Turn those boggled up teenage frustrations into words on paper. It always feels better when you get it out and talk to someone, even if you just talk to yourself. Also, it's okay to show your emotions. Normalize crying in front of others. Normalize communicating that you're upset. Holding onto those feelings hurts no one but you.
Lastly, everything works out in the end. One day, you'll be 21 and living your best life. Your teenage years will seem like such a long time ago. You'll be more aware, loving, and open to learning new lessons. One day, you'll be writing a letter to your 20 something year old self, with more valuable lessons and advice.
Remember to choose yourself, choose love, and choose God.
I love you.
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